How To Make Your Small Group Bible Study 1000x Better: The Art of Being Stupid

September 4, 2024 Kendra Kammer

By Kendra Kammer

I have had so many people tell me over the years that their small group Bible study feels shallow, insincere, and stuffy. Have you ever had that experience?

Sometimes in these small groups it seems like everyone is trying to outdo everyone else with their spiritual knowledge. Someone launches into a political tirade. Questions that are designed to lead to healthy personal conviction lead to culture-bashing instead. And everyone walks away feeling a little more self-righteous than when they arrived.

It’s no wonder that the friends we bring don’t want to come back. It’s no wonder that we don’t want to go back!

But don’t be discouraged! I’m here to bring you hope!

I have determined never to be part of such a Bible Study again. But instead of quitting, I’ve changed my groups from the inside, and it all started with me.

Maybe the change for your small group problem needs to start with you.

Here is my list of Four Tips to Make Your Bible Study 1000x Better. (Also called The Art of Being Stupid in Bible Study.)

Be Thoughtfully Stupid to Make Bible Study Better

Ask the Stupid Questions

If you’ve been around church for a while, you know what the answers are supposed to be. The problem is that we have trained ourselves not to ask the questions. We don’t want to look stupid and besides, often we already know what people are going to tell us. But we need to ask those questions that linger, for our sake and for the sake of others.

We need to ask those questions that linger, for our sake and for the sake of others.

For example, if I ask, “How can I know that God loves me?” I know others will tell me, “Because it says so in the Bible.” But if I push and ask again, “Can you show me where? Maybe we can look up some passages together,” then suddenly this easy question has moved us into a lively practice of Bible-searching. And someone who needed to hear those encouraging verses gets to breathe a little easier.

So sometimes we should ask the questions even when we know the answer to invigorate discussion and to encourage that person who was afraid that her questions would be too stupid.

And sometimes we ask the questions because we have to admit that the church answer hasn’t satisfied our soul. Take, as an example, questions like “Why does God allow children to die?” We may know full well that the answer lies somewhere along the lines of “because God’s ways are beyond our understanding,” but wouldn’t it be helpful to take the time in Bible study to discuss it? We might not have time to finish a complete analysis of the question at hand, but we will acknowledge some hard truths, search the Scriptures, and encourage someone who thought that they were the only one who wondered about that.

Share your Stupid Sin

As the discussion in Bible study turns to our sin and our need for a Savior we often find ourselves wanting to put up a wall. We want to leave the discussion to the “sin over there” because the sin right here is harder to talk about.

So we start to talk about the sin that those other people do these days. Or we talk about the sin we used to do.

For the sake of letting the Scriptures do its work on our hearts, let’s stop when we hear ourselves talking about the far-off sin and let’s take that step to bring it back to our neighborhood. Admit your most frustrating sins to the group. This is SO HARD when you are the first one, but you will be rewarded when the others also begin to open up. Your small group will become a sisterhood or brotherhood that shares the most beautiful kind of Christian fellowship.

Your small group will become a place that shares the most beautiful kind of Christian fellowship.

But for the sake of the Gospel, never let it stop there. Every time you admit your sins in the group, make sure you bring it back around to the Gospel. Remember that our God knows that we constantly turn our eyes to worthless things. He knows that we sin but he loves us perfectly and inexplicably, and arranged for us to be with him by the death of his Son. He knows. He loves. He forgives. Praise God!

Bring Buckets of Grace for Your Stupid Friends

With that in mind, that our God loves and forgives us, we can bring buckets of grace for the others in the group. Is there someone who drives you nuts? Is there someone who derails the conversation? Or who seems to look down on you when you ask those stupid questions?

Take a breath and remember that they are still in process just the same as you are. Pray for them. Ask God to help you love them. God loves that prayer! Let him work on your heart.

Follow Some Stupid Rabbit Trails

And finally, the last tip to make your small group Bible Study better is to let your group follow some of those rabbit trails. Watch the people in your group, and use their behavior and words as a guide for how you focus your time together. If, for example, Susan has been sitting, unusually silently throughout the Bible study, and just as you are discussing the dimensions of Noah’s ark, she says, “Sometimes my husband makes me so mad,” it is time to follow that rabbit trail.

Always put the relationships with the group members over the content of the study. Trust me. People in the study won’t be able to engage with the content if they don’t feel like they can trust the group. But a group with strong relationships that studies the Bible together will see exponential spiritual growth.

So there you have it!

But trust me friends, it is not enough just to agree that this is how Bible study should go. It all starts with you. Be uncomfortable. Be stupid. Receive the strange looks from your confused friends when you ask the questions that “Christians should know” and push through to the other side. I promise that it will be worth it!

Kendra Kammer is an active mom of 3 boys. She and her husband, Steve, have been involved in ministry for over 25 years. Kendra especially loves bringing Gods truth alive for others by sharing what God has been teaching her. Check out her blog at CandidlyKendraK.com. (This post was originally posted here.)

Sabbath for Overachievers

July 9, 2024 Caroline Stoltzfus

By Caroline Stoltzfus

As my husband and I prepare to welcome our first kiddo next month, I wonder if I can keep one of the Ten Commandments in this new season. Is it the first, “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3)? Not so much, as I’m well aware I break that one daily. How about the eighth, “You shall not steal”(Exodus 20:15)? No, I don’t see the lack of sleep bringing about a new money laundering habit.

The commandment that has me concerned is one I’ve cultivated over the past year for the first time. It’s the longest commandment by word and verse count, profoundly affects how we structure our time, work, and relationships, and provides a concrete way to reflect God's image, so it must be important. God speaks in Exodus 20:8-11, saying,

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.”

Well, that sounds nice if you don’t live in America, where our rat race idols tend to get in the way of God’s good pattern for our lives.

For the more affluent, overextended careers, youth sports tournaments, brunch plans, Trader Joe’s runs, and landscaping all call to us on the weekends as we work to do more and be more for the sake of status. For those living paycheck to paycheck, if you have the day off, Sunday might be the one day to complete critical errands. Whatever your station, society demands that we not only treat the Sabbath as any other task-oriented day but that we require that others support our checklist—quite the opposite of what Commandment Eight instructs us.

What would it look like to radically reorder our individual, family, and corporate lives so that the Sabbath became the true blessing God intended it to be? How can we come to see observing the Sabbath as a choice to accept our limitations in order to honor our good God?

Overcoming Momentum

If you’re like me, you have a planner that you visit daily to keep track of your appointments and tasks. Perhaps you also have a family calendar, a grocery list on your fridge, shared virtual notes with your spouse, and an iPhone Reminders list just in case all of those other triggers fail you. We are constantly prompted to add to and check in with our checklist and are primed to do this from a young age.

My own teenage and college experience demonstrates this training. I wanted to be the best scholar-athlete in my class. My parents gave me every opportunity they could to pursue this goal, including post-practice training, driving me and my sisters around from the time they got off of work to 8:30 p.m., and spending weekends traveling for academic and sporting events. I liked the hustle because people liked me when I succeeded. And when I sat down to “rest,” it was more like crashing in front of a TV marathon.

This full plate didn’t leave any time for an intentional Sabbath, and that mindset carried well into adulthood. Track practice and homework became social overcommitment and freelancing on nights and weekends. I swapped my cable TV channel crashes for Netflix binging. Not keeping a Sabbath felt normal (no one else in my life practiced or even talked about the practice) and convinced me that if I could fit more tasks into my 168-hour week, I was limitless.

Choosing Delight Over Delusion

But believing you’re limitless is quite delusional and not the point of the Christian life. John Mark Comer shares in his lessons on The Sabbath Practice, “The Sabbath is a 24-hour time period set aside to stop, rest, delight, and worship. It is the best day of the week. In our era of chronic exhaustion, emotional unhealth, and spiritual stagnation, few things are more necessary than the recovery of this ancient practice.”

Do you feel that endless tiredness alongside a disconnection from your emotions and God the Father? Do you answer the question, “How are you?” with, “I’m so busy!” as if busy were an emotion? Do you put unrealistic expectations on your next long weekend in the mountains or yearly beach vacation? So many of us live in this state and keep hoping that if we work hard enough, we can magically create the time and money that will finally allow us to have a Sabbath.

This dream is a farce. Beyond our cognitive limitations and physical needs, we have spiritual needs that our own works cannot meet. Paul writes in Romans, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” Scripture repeatedly reminds us of our limitations. God is not surprised that I haven’t found time to get a law degree, let alone that I cannot perfectly please him and earn salvation through my efforts.

If I cannot achieve salvation on my own or self-actualize in the approximately 4,000 weeks I have on this earth, why would I reject the beautiful weekly gift of Sabbath that God gives me complete permission to enjoy? Why wouldn’t I prune my calendar, knowing that he is already pleased with me in Christ, to protect the best day of the week? The more I lean into God’s kindness toward me and my limitations, the more I’m able to rest from the world’s expectations and give not just Sundays but all my days to trusting he loves me, not how many items I’ve crossed off my checklist.

My limitations allow me to better honor a sovereign God who deserves the worship of my time. Sabbath patterns set us apart from the world in a shocking way—start practicing it and see how your believing and unbelieving friends and family react! Through a day set aside to worship and witness, we reflect our creator’s image and give him the glory he is due. But how do we begin?

Discovering Sabbath

The Bible provides basic intentions for our Sabbath practice, and while theologians and secular authors differ on the impetus and goal of Sabbath practice, both recognize the benefits and provide insight into discovering this for ourselves. What that looks like practically in your life could take many shapes in many different seasons. I doubt my infant will respect the uninterrupted hours of sipping coffee, conversing, and reading outdoors that my husband and I enjoyed since we began our new Sunday rhythm about a year ago. Though, I believe we can always ask these questions to help us cultivate a day set aside to “stop, rest, delight, and worship.”

Does my Monday through Saturday calendar foster a full day of rest? What’s likely to overflow into my Sabbath?
Am I prioritizing too many relationships in a way that leaves my calendar too full and lacking intimacy? How can I prioritize the most important relationships on the Sabbath?
What expectations from the world am I placing on myself, even though they aren’t a value or interest to me? For example, having a weed-free garden or participating in club sports.
How can I allow others to rest on the Sabbath? Can I grocery shop on a different day of the week or make it a rule not to dine out on Sundays?
Where am I seeking rest in technology, TV, and social media? What would happen if I practiced a tech-free Sabbath?

I encourage you to find people in your community who already practice Sabbath and ask them how it’s changed their lives and their relationship with their true Savior. Invite your closest relationships into trying to practice Sabbath together. This discipline is meant to be done and better done with others. You might not enjoy it at first, but I bet you’ll soon find you can’t imagine life before honoring this good gift from our good God. One of my favorite thinkers, Andy Crouch, is known to say, “When you practice Sabbath, you always know you’re never more than six days away from a day of rest with a God who loves you and provides for you.”

Caroline and her husband Cole have been members at g+p since 2020. She enjoys deep chats, emerging ideas, trail runs, podcasts, and baked goods. Find her writing at homecomingcreative.com and on LinkedIn.

Why We Sing

July 18, 2023 Holly .

By Lesa Brown

I was 11 years old; it was 1984. With Eye of the Tiger rising up from the record player, I pulled up my leg warmers and roller skated over to my best friend’s house. Like most days, MTV was already on and waiting for me.

Fast forward two years. I predictably became the quintessential 80’s teen, with sprayed up bangs, popped collar, Walkman, and all. Perhaps not so normal was that every Sunday morning you could find me singing from a Presbyterian hymnal and every Sunday evening at church youth choir rehearsal.

When I recently reconnected with that same bff, she reminded me that back in the 5th grade I had tried to teach her to sing. I have always believed – even from childhood – that everyone should sing. But we’ve all heard the age-old story: Johnny’s music teacher in 4th grade told him he couldn’t sing, and he hasn’t sung a note since.

Is Johnny still supposed to sing in church if he isn't comfortable with it?

I eventually followed in my musical parents’ footsteps and pursued singing on a more serious level. Almost every day of my adult life I have sung, played, taught, conducted, written, led, and listened to music. Music is so central in my thoughts that, at any given moment, triggered by any random word, I promise you- I will break into song!

As I’ve stood in front of congregations singing, nearly every week I see people wholeheartedly singing praises to God standing alongside the mute and seemingly sullen. The latter are not just visitors, but people whom I personally know love God. What happened to those silent saints? Did they all have horrible 4th grade music teachers? A pre-church argument in the car with their spouse? Too much Def Leppard in the 80’s?

Does God even care if we sing in church?

For decades I’ve searched for answers to questions like these, but simultaneously I’ve been afraid that I’m the wrong person to present my findings. For a life-long singer like me to tell a non-singer that they should be singing in church just feels, well, tone-deaf! (Pun definitely intended!)

However, since this subject is so important to discuss, I hope to unpack my findings over four blog posts. Here’s what they will focus on:

Perspectives on social singing learned from my Maasai friends in Kenya
The physical and emotional components of singing and how they impact our relationship with God
What the Bible says about singing praises to God and the spiritual significance of singing together
Worship at Grace + Peace: The “why” behind our musical decisions

Part 1: Perspectives from the Maasai

During our seven years in Africa, we developed a deep relationship with a Maasai village. The music of their church is totally non-Western. A woman typically leads call and response songs, backed up by a choir adorned with jewelry on every limb that jingles as they dance. Another woman plays a single drum, keeping beat while the whole church erupts in joyful celebration.

Maasai worship music mirrors their community celebrations. At weddings, funerals, social events, and at church, no one worries about whether they “can sing” or not. They all just sing loudly in lots of stacked-up harmonies. Their singing is part of their tradition from infancy. And without TV and movies, it is also their entertainment.

In Maasai-land, I witnessed that worship was an important moment for the whole church to join together and focus on God. It wasn't entirely spontaneous, as you might suspect; the music leaders had practiced and had a clear plan. When the church responded, they sang loud, they danced, and they cried.

Why is the singing in our worship services generally so unenthused in comparison?

Obviously, there are many cultural differences to consider, but there are a few things about ourselves that we can learn by observing our Maasai brothers and sisters:

Singing with others in harmonies is beautiful and just plain fun. With the advent of projectors in church, we did away with hymnals. Congregational harmonies are no longer common practice in most Western churches. Even when we do sing harmonies, loud sound systems keep us from hearing our neighbors.

Singing is just what they do when they are together. We still sing Happy Birthday and the National Anthem, but beyond that, we don't sing together much. (Remember the “You better watch out, you better not cry” part in the movie Elf?) We have lost the norm and thus the joy of social singing in our everyday lives. This makes singing in church alongside others feel strange.

Singing expresses their culture’s value of community over the individual. Music in our culture has shifted from being a social activity to a personal experience. This highlights our expressive individualism: “Does it feel good to me?” “How can I find the most powerful experience for me?” “Where will I best fit in with my personal preferences and style?” In every area of Maasai culture, the community comes before the individual. This feels very backward to our Western way of viewing the world.

They sing loudly because they feel no shame. The Maasai (at least in their pre-electricity years when we were there) didn't have recorded music. Therefore, they couldn’t compare themselves to pop artists or worry about being judged by anyone. Our contemporary Christian music scene and digital on-demand music have affected the church’s singing in the developed world more than we've realized. Since the invention of the phonograph, we've been the collective frog slowly boiling in the pot of water, gradually losing our confidence and joy of singing aloud. We’ve increasingly become aware of our vocal inadequacies in light of the unrealistic perfection of the recording artist's voice.

So, should we sing like the Maasai? No, that would be impossible and false to who we are. However, we always learn about God and ourselves by looking at other cultures. Based on the lack of technology alone, we can surmise that the worship in biblical times was more similar to the Maasai’s music than to our own. We know from Scripture that it was loud, communal, joyful, and unabashed. We can also see in God’s Word that we are called to sing together to Him.

“Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!” - Psalm‬ 95‬:1‬-2‬ ESV‬‬

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” - Colossians‬ 3‬:16‬ ESV‬‬

Social singing was around in recent history in Western culture (bar songs are the first thing that come to my mind!). So, why did we stop? Yes, discouraging music teachers and our upbringing made a difference, along with technology and albums playing on repeat. And of course, there’s the relentless emphasis on the individual. However, we know from a scientific standpoint that singing is an important part of transmitting cultural stories. Singing the Christian story, in addition to teaching it, expands the impact and reach of the gospel to the next generation and to our neighbors.

Are we irreparably boiled in the pot? Can we ever regain the joy of singing together? At g+p, we’re working on making church a safe place for everyone to sing out with joy. You can work on it, too: push your threshold a tiny bit and see if anything terrible happens! Next week at church, try singing if you tend to refrain from it. Or, try singing a bit louder! Better yet, try smiling as you sing… find that joy! Pay attention to the words and mean them. Listen to the voices of those around you, and let those voices lift your soul to God and surround you with the security of belonging to one another. Allow your own voice (however imperfect) to do the same for those around you!

“It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High;”-Psalm‬ 92‬:1‬