How To Make Your Small Group Bible Study 1000x Better: The Art of Being Stupid

By Kendra Kammer

Photo by Alexis Brown

I have had so many people tell me over the years that their small group Bible study feels shallow, insincere, and stuffy. Have you ever had that experience?

Sometimes in these small groups it seems like everyone is trying to outdo everyone else with their spiritual knowledge. Someone launches into a political tirade. Questions that are designed to lead to healthy personal conviction lead to culture-bashing instead. And everyone walks away feeling a little more self-righteous than when they arrived.

It’s no wonder that the friends we bring don’t want to come back. It’s no wonder that we don’t want to go back!

But don’t be discouraged! I’m here to bring you hope!

I have determined never to be part of such a Bible Study again. But instead of quitting, I’ve changed my groups from the inside, and it all started with me.

Maybe the change for your small group problem needs to start with you.

Here is my list of Four Tips to Make Your Bible Study 1000x Better. (Also called The Art of Being Stupid in Bible Study.)

Be Thoughtfully Stupid to Make Bible Study Better

Ask the Stupid Questions

If you’ve been around church for a while, you know what the answers are supposed to be. The problem is that we have trained ourselves not to ask the questions. We don’t want to look stupid and besides, often we already know what people are going to tell us. But we need to ask those questions that linger, for our sake and for the sake of others.

We need to ask those questions that linger, for our sake and for the sake of others.

For example, if I ask, “How can I know that God loves me?” I know others will tell me, “Because it says so in the Bible.” But if I push and ask again, “Can you show me where? Maybe we can look up some passages together,” then suddenly this easy question has moved us into a lively practice of Bible-searching. And someone who needed to hear those encouraging verses gets to breathe a little easier.

So sometimes we should ask the questions even when we know the answer to invigorate discussion and to encourage that person who was afraid that her questions would be too stupid.

And sometimes we ask the questions because we have to admit that the church answer hasn’t satisfied our soul. Take, as an example, questions like “Why does God allow children to die?” We may know full well that the answer lies somewhere along the lines of “because God’s ways are beyond our understanding,” but wouldn’t it be helpful to take the time in Bible study to discuss it? We might not have time to finish a complete analysis of the question at hand, but we will acknowledge some hard truths, search the Scriptures, and encourage someone who thought that they were the only one who wondered about that.

Share your Stupid Sin

As the discussion in Bible study turns to our sin and our need for a Savior we often find ourselves wanting to put up a wall. We want to leave the discussion to the “sin over there” because the sin right here is harder to talk about.

So we start to talk about the sin that those other people do these days. Or we talk about the sin we used to do.

For the sake of letting the Scriptures do its work on our hearts, let’s stop when we hear ourselves talking about the far-off sin and let’s take that step to bring it back to our neighborhood. Admit your most frustrating sins to the group. This is SO HARD when you are the first one, but you will be rewarded when the others also begin to open up. Your small group will become a sisterhood or brotherhood that shares the most beautiful kind of Christian fellowship.

Your small group will become a place that shares the most beautiful kind of Christian fellowship.

But for the sake of the Gospel, never let it stop there. Every time you admit your sins in the group, make sure you bring it back around to the Gospel. Remember that our God knows that we constantly turn our eyes to worthless things. He knows that we sin but he loves us perfectly and inexplicably, and arranged for us to be with him by the death of his Son. He knows. He loves. He forgives. Praise God!

Bring Buckets of Grace for Your Stupid Friends

With that in mind, that our God loves and forgives us, we can bring buckets of grace for the others in the group. Is there someone who drives you nuts? Is there someone who derails the conversation? Or who seems to look down on you when you ask those stupid questions?

Take a breath and remember that they are still in process just the same as you are. Pray for them. Ask God to help you love them. God loves that prayer! Let him work on your heart.

Follow Some Stupid Rabbit Trails

And finally, the last tip to make your small group Bible Study better is to let your group follow some of those rabbit trails. Watch the people in your group, and use their behavior and words as a guide for how you focus your time together. If, for example, Susan has been sitting, unusually silently throughout the Bible study, and just as you are discussing the dimensions of Noah’s ark, she says, “Sometimes my husband makes me so mad,” it is time to follow that rabbit trail.

Always put the relationships with the group members over the content of the study. Trust me. People in the study won’t be able to engage with the content if they don’t feel like they can trust the group. But a group with strong relationships that studies the Bible together will see exponential spiritual growth.

So there you have it!

But trust me friends, it is not enough just to agree that this is how Bible study should go. It all starts with you. Be uncomfortable. Be stupid. Receive the strange looks from your confused friends when you ask the questions that “Christians should know” and push through to the other side. I promise that it will be worth it!

Kendra Kammer is an active mom of 3 boys. She and her husband, Steve, have been involved in ministry for over 25 years. Kendra especially loves bringing Gods truth alive for others by sharing what God has been teaching her. Check out her blog at CandidlyKendraK.com. (This post was originally posted here.)

The Other “F” Word

By Scott Olson

Father. What does this word evoke within you? Perhaps particular memories, images or emotions arise within you, whether fond or deeply painful. Or maybe it represents what you’ve longed and hoped for but have yet to know from experience. You would not be alone. In our culture, roughly 1 in 4 children live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. The other “F” word can be controversial, complex, emotionally evocative, politically charged, even scandalous.

I must confess that every time I hear the word “Father” in relation to God, a variety of complex emotions begin to swirl around within me like a tempest. I was raised by a workaholic, perfectionistic, alcoholic, angry, absent, abusive and wounded step-father who was kicked out when I was 17 years old. He told me that he loved me once: the day he left. And I've neither seen nor heard from him since. Because of this, my closest emotional association with my step-father was a different "F" word.

And yet, God reveals himself as “Father” throughout Scripture.

In the Old Testament, God is referenced as “Father” only 15 times. In a particularly heartbreaking instance, the prophet Jeremiah, in chapter 3 verse 19, records God’s impassioned rebuke of Israel, “...I thought you would call me, ‘My Father’, and would not turn from following me.” Here we see a Father who longs for relationship with his children (Israel), but who’s been utterly forsaken by them.

However, in the New Testament, we see God’s continued pursuit of his people through his Son, Jesus. The gospel of John sets the scene in chapter 1 verses 11-12, “He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” In a dramatic plot twist, John declares a stunning reality: it’s through Israel’s rejection of Jesus that anyone, both Jews AND Gentiles (non-Jews), can become a child of God by receiving and believing in Jesus, the one who calls God his Father, who is one with the Father, and who reveals the Father to us (Matthew 11:27, John 10:30).

In the gospels alone, Jesus refers to God as “Father” more than 175 times. In roughly 150 of these instances, he calls God his “Father” (beginning at the age of 12). It’s here that this Father-Son relationship becomes front and center. In John 17, Jesus repeatedly calls out to his “Father” in prayer just before being arrested, tried, sentenced and crucified. In verse 24, He reveals that his Father loved and glorified him “before the foundation of the world.” Here we get a small glimpse into the eternal, selfless, self-giving love shared between the Father and Son.

In a similar scene (Mark 14:36), Jesus uses a particular Aramaic word that has profound implications for us, “Abba” (always followed by the Greek word translated “Father”). This word is only used once by Jesus and twice by Paul in the New Testament. But what exactly does this word mean? Though it's a term associated with relational intimacy between a father and his child(ren), it has the larger connotation of a solemn, responsible, adult address to a father. And it’s with this fullness of meaning that Jesus addresses his Father during his prayerful petition at Gethsemane, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” It’s here that we discover a Son who did not forsake his Father, but was faithful even unto death.

Paul clearly has this scene in mind when he writes, in Galatians 4:4-7, that we’ve received adoption as children (heirs), through Christ’s redemptive work. Therefore, we’ve received the Spirit into our hearts crying “Abba! Father!” And more than five years later, Paul expands upon this line of thought in Romans 8. Beginning in verse 15, he similarly writes that we've received the Spirit of adoption as children by whom we cry “Abba, Father.” Then, in verse 17, he uses two conditions of certainty, “and if children (which we are), then heirs - heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him (which we will) in order that we may be glorified with him.” And Paul continues this thread throughout the rest of the chapter, applying this suffering and coming glory to the redemption of all things. So, when we examine the full progression of these two passages, we see a clear picture of the Trinity’s (Father, Son, and Spirit) participation in our redemption, adoption, suffering, glorification, inheritance and the renewal of all things to come!

I entered into this beautiful, participatory reality at the age of 20. Upon being rescued by Jesus and reconciled to my heavenly Father, I began praying for reconciliation with my biological father. You see, my parents divorced when I was 3 years old due to a highly dysfunctional, abusive relationship. So, my father had been absent for the vast majority of my upbringing. However, he'd come to know Jesus as a middle-aged man, and the love of God had begun reshaping him. Without my knowledge, he’d been following my life from a distance and praying for an opportunity to be reconciled with me. And just before my 21st birthday, God answered our prayers. We reunited. And with Jesus’ forgiveness as our foundation, we were able, over time, to forgive each other and work toward a healthy, adult, father-son relationship. Over the next twenty years, I grew to love, respect and admire my father until his death around ten years ago.

My relationship with each of my earthly fathers has both strengthened and warped my understanding of God as “Father.” And from a different perspective, having been adopted twice and having adopted twice has also contributed to the incredible amount of baggage I’ve needed to unload, unpack and sort through regarding fatherhood. In my worst moments, I wallow in self-pity, depression, loneliness, anger and shame. In my best moments, I continually fight to reframe my understanding of who I am as a beloved, adopted child of God and who God is as my loving Father so that my mind and heart would be in alignment with the Scriptures. And I desire that these truths would transform my identity, perspective, responses, reactions, emotions, and actions.

My prayer is that those of you who, like me, have struggled with the other “F” word, would be able to declare (with increasing confidence), “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” (1 John 3:1)

Questions for Reflection

1. How has your relationship (or lack thereof) with your earthly father(s) impacted your understanding of your relationship with God as Father?

2. What is one step that you can take to intentionally reframe your understanding of God as Father to be in accordance with the Scriptures?

Dr. Scott Olson has been married to the same, amazing woman, Anna, for more than 28 years. They have 2 adult sons, a daughter-in-law, and a grandson. He’s passionate about awakening kingdom dreams in people, equipping the church for service, developing & shepherding leaders, theological & cultural engagement, and multiplying apprentices of Jesus through movemental, missional practices. Scott’s served in a missional context for more than 26 years, having planted/replanted 5 churches, shepherded 3 other churches, and served as the Program Manager for My Father House family shelter (Portland, OR). He’s received a MAPS (Church Planting), M.Div. Equivalence (Trinitarian Theology), D.Min. (Missional Leadership) from Multnomah Biblical Seminary. Scott currently serves as a Faculty Mentor for Redemption Seminary and web consultant for Fidelis International Seminary.

Begrudging Grace

By Jonathan Clark

In the Parable of the Vineyard in Matthew 20, Jesus tells us a parable which has offended my heart for the last 6 months. When the disgruntled 12-hour shift laborers complain about the same payment for the 1-hour laborers, Jesus, through the vineyard owner says, “Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?” (v. 15). Behind these two questions is a convicting truth I am realizing I need more and more. It is all too possible for each of us, even and especially us “grace-centered” people, to become the legalists we claim to renounce. 

            This is not a new truth, but it is one that even our particular tradition of reformed Presbyterianism can forget. In The Whole Christ, Sinclair Ferguson tells the story of an obscure theological scuffle in early-1700s England, but one which taps into the gospel nerves of every time, culture, and human heart. The occasion was “The Marrow Controversy.” It began as a simple theology question to a pastor candidate, but quickly fanned into a large-scale theological debate. In 2023 terms, the theology question was essentially, “Does repentance precede our acceptance of Christ as savior?” Or, “Does a person need to repent of their sin before they entrust their lives to Christ?” The seminary student initially said yes…  and then later no, pointing to a pseudonymous systematic theology book entitled, The Marrow of Modern Divinity. The Marrow, as it was called, argued that both scripture and the reformed tradition teach that no one can bring any meritorious work into their salvation, including repentance. Rather, Marrow argued, God lavishes undeserved favor, or grace, without prior conditions from believers. Even repentance cannot qualify a person for faith or grace but instead follows it. Ferguson writes, “Repentance [and conviction] do not constitute grounds on which Christ is offered to us. They may constitute the way in which the Spirit works as the gospel makes its impact on us. But they never form the warrant for repentance and faith” (58). 

In response, the Presbytery argued The Marrow was antinomian (“against law” in Greek), since it denied the law in our lives for holiness and salvation. The Marrow Men insisted that was the whole point not just of the historic Calvinist creed but of the entire Christian faith! That we do nothing to merit any part of our salvation has always been the “offense of the gospel.” 

            So what? Why does an obscure theology debate in 18th century Scotland matter? Because it reveals the ever-human reality that every person, every culture, every church is capable of, in Jesus’ words, “begrudging the generosity” of the vineyard master. We begrudge the vineyard master’s generosity when we say one person deserves reward more or less than another and when we attach conditions to our personal faith. We begrudge his generosity when we internally or externally demand that the vineyard owner use his resources as we see fit, not as he designs. One of the major themes of the Bible, and the starting place of the reformed understanding of salvation, is that humans are not saved or accepted or justified by God because of any condition, character, or merit in them. God does not save us because we deserve it. In the parable, he does not pay more for long days and less for short days. He does not even save us because of foreseen faith. We are saved (elected, justified, adopted, sanctified, and glorified) because of God’s sovereign choice. It’s not fair, just like a 12-hour shift receiving the same pay as a 1-hour shift. The life-long Christian, baptized as a child, attending church every week for 90 years, devoted to acts of justice, mercy, evangelism, and piety, is just as saved as the death-bed convert. The playing field is completely leveled, and this offends our meritorious sensibilities. 

            The problem is that all of us are experts at smuggling in personal and cultural conditions of merit into our daily theology. For the 18th century Presbyterians, they wanted to say that some repentance was necessary for salvation. But we do the same thing today. For some of us, it is a particular ethical behavior. For others it is a social or political issue, or perhaps theological precision. Because the impulse of the sinful human heart is to seek reconciliation with God on our terms, we constantly generate new and novel proofs that “I am not that bad! I can surely bring something to my salvation.” And then- God have mercy- we do begrudge the landlord’s generosity.

           What challenged me so acutely about the Marrow Controversy is that the debate occurred at the high point of reformed theological discussion in Scotland, the birthplace of Scottish Presbyterianism, among some of the best reformed pastors ever. If anyone should have discerned “salvation by grace alone,” it was these men. And yet, the Marrow controversy was a hot debate.

         The same could be said for Jesus’ main opponents, the Pharisees. They were experts in the law, in covenant theology, and in morality. They had Deuteronomy 7:7 drilled into their minds: “It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you…but because the LORD loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers.” The Rich Young Ruler, who set the occasion for the Parable of the Vineyard, likewise knew the law (Mt. 19:16-22). Yet they all missed the grace! The sharp reality (and this unnerves me to the core as a pastor) is that sometimes it is the most theologically learned among us who can be the most confused or deceived about the basic tenets of the faith: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost (1 Tim. 1:15).” 

            What do we do with this? We must humble ourselves anew, as communities and individuals. We must ferret out the dark parts of our hearts and communities which still question and reject solo gratia, by grace alone. None of us moves beyond the basics of our faith, that of sin, repentance, Jesus, and undeserved grace. Paul confessed in Philippians 3 that his former life as a Pharisee was complete rubbish. Do I account my labors as a husband and father and pastor and friend and citizen as worthless next to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ by faith and only faith? I’m not there yet. I must attend closely to “guard the deposit” of “God who saved us and called us, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace” (2 Tim 1:9, 14). 

The key to understanding the Parable of the Vineyard is found Jesus’ unsettling reminder in verse 16: “The last will be first, and the first last.” The Marrow controversy showed this again. Our modern-day controversies over merit show this again, too, even those that play out in the secret places of our hearts. I pray we learn from those who have gone before.

Jonathan Clark is a Presbyterian minister (PCA) and serves as the campus minister with Reformed University Fellowship in Colorado Springs, Colo. He holds an MDiv from Covenant Theological Seminary and a BA in politics, philosophy, and economics from The King's College. He is married to Caroline, a graphic designer, and together they have one daughter. His interests include Christian missions in a secular culture, Enlightenment philosophy and politics, and cycling whenever it's warm outside.

When Sovereignty Hurts

This is the second of a series on God’s sovereignty by Jonathan Wilcox.

It was the middle of the morning on April 20, 1999 when shots rang out at Columbine High School in Littleton, CO. I was in my sophomore year on the west coast when I heard the news of the tragedy. Since I was also attending a large high school, the news was quite shocking. Since that time, there seem to be regular instances of public violence, not to mention all manner of natural evils such as major disasters and sicknesses.  There’s also been the disability that has significantly impacted my own life for the past 12 years.

In response to the outworkings of human sinfulness and the pain of the curse, there is only one rational question: WHY!!?

How can a good, sovereign God (as demonstrated in Everyday Sovereignty) allow these atrocities?

As a fellow sufferer, with a long term, progressive disability, I am constantly having to wrestle with this challenge to my faith. In order for us to find peace and rest in God in spite of this dilemma, we need to look at what our king has to say

There are two responses in Scripture to the question, “How can a just God allow injustice?”

1. Job ch. 38-41

2. The passion of Jesus Christ (recounted in all four gospels)

Job 38-41

The entire book of Job seems to set the stage for this question. “Job… was blameless, upright, fearing God and turning away from evil” (Job 1:1). Yet, in the space of a few weeks his world fell apart. He goes from abundant riches to abject poverty, good health to agonizing afflictions. On top of this, his friends and even his wife turn on him. Furthermore, after declaring himself righteous (Job 31) he gets told off by a young hothead named Elihu who audaciously claims to speak for God (Job 32-37). In a very lofty and arrogant tone, Elihu essentially tells Job that because God is absolutely powerful and just, Job must be getting his just deserts for some wrongdoing. In short, he provides a classic example of the pompous religious response to suffering which has done much harm to people over the centuries.

All throughout Job’s story, we see that our human responses to explain away evil fall short and don’t get at the heart of the issue. When God finally answers Job, it comes in the form of rhetorical questions meant to shift Job’s entire perspective on the mystery of God’s sovereignty.  It ultimately leads him to worship, saying, “I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. … Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. … I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees You; therefore I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42:2–6 (NASB95)

Along with Job, we ought to humble ourselves and repent when we get to know God’s sovereignty first hand. God revealed Himself to Job in a mighty storm, and although this was impressive, as an Old Testament saint Job did not get to see God’s full redemptive revelation of himself. However, we do have God’s full revelation of Himself to us in His Son.

The passion of Christ

Just like Job and his friends, we seek answers and resolution to the difficulty. But, as in the case of Job’s story, all human arguments fall short in explaining how a good, sovereign God can allow evil, suffering, and death. Instead, we only get a full picture when God himself shows up. In the death and resurrection of Christ we get God with us in a special way. In fact, the cross of Jesus is God’s perfect response to all the injustice and pain in the world. In His wisdom, God overcame our sin-induced suffering by coming down from His throne and enduring the ultimate curse for us. God used the ultimate act of injustice- the murder of the only truly righteous man- to defeat death itself and injustice with it. 

Because God has ultimately revealed Himself in Jesus, we can have peace and rest under the rule of a sovereign king who is intimately acquainted with our suffering as one who descended into hell for us, walked out of the grave, and ascended into heaven where He now intercedes for us. If you want a fuller analysis of this topic, check out Evil and the Cross.

How do we, as sinful broken people who have an innate urge for self-preservation and pain avoidance, cling to a God who tells us He is a good king in the midst this painful world of death and decay? We surely can’t just try harder to have more faith. The failure rate using that methodology is 100%! We must turn again to the trinitarian God who empowers us by his Spirit so that while we groan with the rest of creation under the curse, we also are able in our hearts to cry “Abba, father!” (Rom. 8:15).

Each of us has a legitimate choice every minute of every day: do we trust God’s ultimate control, authority, and presence or do we reject it in favor of our own wisdom and might to determine what is right? I live constantly in this tension due to my ever present disability, and I am by no means perfect or even consistent in my outlook. Yet through the finished work of Christ and the powerful gift of the indwelling of the Spirit, we can declare with the psalmist,

In peace I will both lie down and sleep;

For you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

-Psalm 4:8