By Scott Olson

Father. What does this word evoke within you? Perhaps particular memories, images or emotions arise within you, whether fond or deeply painful. Or maybe it represents what you’ve longed and hoped for but have yet to know from experience. You would not be alone. In our culture, roughly 1 in 4 children live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. The other “F” word can be controversial, complex, emotionally evocative, politically charged, even scandalous.

I must confess that every time I hear the word “Father” in relation to God, a variety of complex emotions begin to swirl around within me like a tempest. I was raised by a workaholic, perfectionistic, alcoholic, angry, absent, abusive and wounded step-father who was kicked out when I was 17 years old. He told me that he loved me once: the day he left. And I've neither seen nor heard from him since. Because of this, my closest emotional association with my step-father was a different "F" word.

And yet, God reveals himself as “Father” throughout Scripture.

In the Old Testament, God is referenced as “Father” only 15 times. In a particularly heartbreaking instance, the prophet Jeremiah, in chapter 3 verse 19, records God’s impassioned rebuke of Israel, “...I thought you would call me, ‘My Father’, and would not turn from following me.” Here we see a Father who longs for relationship with his children (Israel), but who’s been utterly forsaken by them.

However, in the New Testament, we see God’s continued pursuit of his people through his Son, Jesus. The gospel of John sets the scene in chapter 1 verses 11-12, “He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” In a dramatic plot twist, John declares a stunning reality: it’s through Israel’s rejection of Jesus that anyone, both Jews AND Gentiles (non-Jews), can become a child of God by receiving and believing in Jesus, the one who calls God his Father, who is one with the Father, and who reveals the Father to us (Matthew 11:27, John 10:30).

In the gospels alone, Jesus refers to God as “Father” more than 175 times. In roughly 150 of these instances, he calls God his “Father” (beginning at the age of 12). It’s here that this Father-Son relationship becomes front and center. In John 17, Jesus repeatedly calls out to his “Father” in prayer just before being arrested, tried, sentenced and crucified. In verse 24, He reveals that his Father loved and glorified him “before the foundation of the world.” Here we get a small glimpse into the eternal, selfless, self-giving love shared between the Father and Son.

In a similar scene (Mark 14:36), Jesus uses a particular Aramaic word that has profound implications for us, “Abba” (always followed by the Greek word translated “Father”). This word is only used once by Jesus and twice by Paul in the New Testament. But what exactly does this word mean? Though it's a term associated with relational intimacy between a father and his child(ren), it has the larger connotation of a solemn, responsible, adult address to a father. And it’s with this fullness of meaning that Jesus addresses his Father during his prayerful petition at Gethsemane, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” It’s here that we discover a Son who did not forsake his Father, but was faithful even unto death.

Paul clearly has this scene in mind when he writes, in Galatians 4:4-7, that we’ve received adoption as children (heirs), through Christ’s redemptive work. Therefore, we’ve received the Spirit into our hearts crying “Abba! Father!” And more than five years later, Paul expands upon this line of thought in Romans 8. Beginning in verse 15, he similarly writes that we've received the Spirit of adoption as children by whom we cry “Abba, Father.” Then, in verse 17, he uses two conditions of certainty, “and if children (which we are), then heirs - heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him (which we will) in order that we may be glorified with him.” And Paul continues this thread throughout the rest of the chapter, applying this suffering and coming glory to the redemption of all things. So, when we examine the full progression of these two passages, we see a clear picture of the Trinity’s (Father, Son, and Spirit) participation in our redemption, adoption, suffering, glorification, inheritance and the renewal of all things to come!

I entered into this beautiful, participatory reality at the age of 20. Upon being rescued by Jesus and reconciled to my heavenly Father, I began praying for reconciliation with my biological father. You see, my parents divorced when I was 3 years old due to a highly dysfunctional, abusive relationship. So, my father had been absent for the vast majority of my upbringing. However, he'd come to know Jesus as a middle-aged man, and the love of God had begun reshaping him. Without my knowledge, he’d been following my life from a distance and praying for an opportunity to be reconciled with me. And just before my 21st birthday, God answered our prayers. We reunited. And with Jesus’ forgiveness as our foundation, we were able, over time, to forgive each other and work toward a healthy, adult, father-son relationship. Over the next twenty years, I grew to love, respect and admire my father until his death around ten years ago.

My relationship with each of my earthly fathers has both strengthened and warped my understanding of God as “Father.” And from a different perspective, having been adopted twice and having adopted twice has also contributed to the incredible amount of baggage I’ve needed to unload, unpack and sort through regarding fatherhood. In my worst moments, I wallow in self-pity, depression, loneliness, anger and shame. In my best moments, I continually fight to reframe my understanding of who I am as a beloved, adopted child of God and who God is as my loving Father so that my mind and heart would be in alignment with the Scriptures. And I desire that these truths would transform my identity, perspective, responses, reactions, emotions, and actions.

My prayer is that those of you who, like me, have struggled with the other “F” word, would be able to declare (with increasing confidence), “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” (1 John 3:1)

Questions for Reflection

How has your relationship (or lack thereof) with your earthly father(s) impacted your understanding of your relationship with God as Father?
What is one step that you can take to intentionally reframe your understanding of God as Father to be in accordance with the Scriptures?